Why Do I Have to Love Myself First?

Why shortcuts don't work.

Love yourself first, only then you'll be able to love others.
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You’ve heard it a million times: You must love yourself before anyone else can love you.

But why is that?

The basic tenet of awakening is that we understand that we are all connected. This concept will expand for you in a widening spiral of perspective as your consciousness expands.

It goes something like this:

  1. First, you see all people as separate, and they are doing things to you.
  2. As you awaken, you start to see the connection between something you’ve done, and something that is returned to you.
  3. Then, you see the synchronicities, that you thought were coincidence, as something planned by Source.
  4. You then see that the people that you meet are there according to Divine Design.
  5. The perspective then shifts to your understanding that all Beings are of equal value, no matter their behavior.
  6. You will then remember that all of those Other Beings are aspects of yourself.

So you see, once you remember that everyone you see is really another version of you in a different body experiencing life from a different perspective, it makes sense that you can’t love anyone until you love yourself.

From an Earthly vantage point, that equates to facing your fears, redesigning supportive belief systems, and healthy self-care. You work on your wholeness starting with the “you” that you’re conscious of right now. And only then can you move to being a partner to someone who treats you the way you treat yourself.

Today, look at your relationship with yourself. Is there love, without the input of anyone else’s behavior towards, or opinion of, you? You are projecting your inner self to the world. What are you sending out?