Where Does the Ugly in You Come Out? Go There More Often.

where do you feel ugliest?

As you awaken, you raise your awareness of your own behavior.  Hopefully, you’ll recognize when you’ve done something nice, and praise yourself for it.

And when you do things that are ugly, you’ll recognize it and aim for better “next time.”

So when will there be a “next time”?  I suggest you actively plan for those times by putting yourself in the places where you’re challenged the most.

The places where you feel most vulnerable, most inadequate, most unnerved by the situation. Make them places where you feel ugly.

Go where the people scare you, where your “comparison” muscle gets the most action. Go there.  Face it.

For me, it’s the gym.

I live in Hollywood, California, so I’m sure I don’t need to explain much about the scenery around here.  And going to the gym, which is regularly populated with 6′ freaks of nature disguised as models and actors, can send me into a negative vortex of inadequacy. These fairy-like people bend themselves into knots in every yoga pose imaginable, lift more weight than I do, and look way better than I do while doing it.

The hardest part?

Most of them are NICE.

That’s the kicker, eh?  I’d love to hate them for their perfection, and their contribution to the continuation of the unrealistic ideal standards by which our society measures beauty.  I’d love to sneer and scoff and compare.

But all of those negative feelings I experience: comparisons of worthiness and value in a jacked-up Western society, my personal insecurities, and sometimes just plain despair…are simply MY feelings, and they don’t represent the people I’m viewing at all.

Facing your feelings head-on allows you to redesign your attitude about being around those who challenge you.

Hiding from them will magnify your insecurities later. So go there, and experience it head-on.  Bring each insecurity to light, and ask yourself if it serves you, or if you can let that go.

And you might find out that those you were afraid of, comparing yourself to, and avoiding, are people with their own insecurities, who long to be loved and accepted just as much as you do.  Then it’s your time to love and to take the risk of being loved back.

 

Kimberly

author: Kimberly

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